Choices or Callings?
In life we may have both choices and callings.
Sometimes in life God gives us choices. And other times He asks us to do certain things. For me I knew He called me to the World Race and now to CGA. The Lord has grown me and has shaped me into a new person over the past two years.
The world race was an experience I will never forget. It was hard and challenging but it was also so good. I was pushed outside of each and every one of my comfort zones. From leaving my home and my family to live a life of so many unknowns. Learning that I had to trust that the Lord will provide and keep me safe along the way. I had to step out and have conversations with people I didn’t know and live with a group of people I had never met before. The unknowns of this life style the Lord asked me to leave everything for, were quite unmeasurable. But through the process I saw myself becoming a better version of myself. Someone who was walking in intimacy with the Lord, choosing others over myself, walking in obedience even when it was hard, stepping into more confidence and knowledge of who the Lord is. The World Race was merely just the first step into what the Lord has called me to.
About 6 months after the World Race I moved here to Gainesville, GA to attend CGA— Adventure in Missions leadership and discipleship school. I arrived here in mid January to begin classes and phew what a journey it has been. It has been emotionally, spiritually and physically draining and life giving in the best way. The Lord has opened my eyes to see the past hurts that have been affecting me and rendering me in life. Small and large events in my life that have impacted the way I think, act and go about life. The roots of some but not yet all of these events have came to the service so that I could begin to work through them and become a healthier individual. We have learned how to walk through our own healing so then we can begin to lead others in healthy ways. These past couple months have been filled with the Lord showing me who I am. To speak into my character and show me the gifts He has given me. I have been given an opportunity to be discipled and then learn how to disciple others. The endless opportunities the Lord has given to me to connect here in Georgia within my class, my church and the community has been incredible.
Outside of class I work at the YMCA after school program, volunteer at Whispering Angels Youth Ranch (please go look them up, its an amazing ministry) and attend Pheonix Community Church on a regular basis.
Working at the YMCA has been a great opportunity to have flexibility for class and taking time to also volunteer during the week. I am a sub counselor, my job requires me to go into different schools all over the area to help with the after school program. The great thing about being a sub is that I get to meet more counselors and children then I would if I was at a set school. It brings a lot of opportunities to talk with them about the Lord.
Whispering Angels Youth Ranch is a ministry who’s mission is to reach children struggling with various difficulties including bullying, loss of parents through incarceration or death and other life challenges. The children are referred by CASA, DFCS and local school systems. It’s a unique non-profit ranch that facilitates hope, healing, love and acceptance to children through a mentorship and a horse. The horse chooses the child that they will then meet with weekly alongside a mentor. The horses also have a story and have most likely suffered as well before coming to the ranch. Ya’ll this ranch is where I have found heaven on earth here in Gainesville, GA. You can feel the Lords presence all over this place. He is working through this ministry and everyone involved here. The kids come once a week, they have a mentor that spends at least an hour with them while they are here, they get to have horse time, express and enjoy time in the art room, there is a community garden for them to help in, a workshop for them to build things and soon a pavilion will be done that will be used for events during the summer and possibly cowboy church on some Sunday evenings. This place is the heart of what the Lord asks us to be. To reach the orphans, the broken hearted, the lost and oppressed. It is bringing new life to those who enter or even just a safe place to feel welcomed and loved. This is a non profit and everyone involved come here to freely give their time to be involved and help change the lives around them. They have followed the Lords calling to Gods barn and the children that flow through those doors each week.
The church I have been attending— Pheonix Community Church—is a church looking to be bigger than a building. They seek to reach people beyond the walls and to make the church a body of people that is about seeking kingdom instead of production. This is a really small church that meets in the back room of a ballet studio on Sundays. A couple times a month one of the pastors invites the church into their home to have dinner and fellowship with one another. At least once a month or sometimes more, they go into a homeless shelter to share Gods love with a meal, message and fellowship. Soon they will also be partnering with a ministry one of the ladies in the church has to help women in need. These people are genuine and truly just want to follow the Lords path. I have found more than a church here. I have found people who truly care about you and others. A group of people who were once strangers, now feel like family. They invite everyone into the church, even the ones that so often get turned the other way. They have the heart of Jesus. We are the church and should be reaching out to the widows, the single mothers, the orphans, the hurting, the broken and the poor. This is what we are called to do, so lets step out and do that.
Ya’ll these past couple months have been so hard and challenging. But, following the Lord and listening to what He was asking me to do in coming here was the best thing I could do. It has been busy, stressful and full of life. I have learned more about myself and what it means to lead others. I have learned from volunteering how much of an impact we can make when choosing to set aside time to pour into others and just be there. From my church I have seen and learned what it looks like to choose people even outside of the church walls and in our personal time. The community at adventures in missions is one that has invited me into things not even knowing me. They have welcomed me into a community where I can talk about God and just life. This season the Lord has shown me how to step into authenticity. I’m learning to be myself, how to walk in a healthier way of life, how to choose others even when its hard and to be more like Jesus.
Although I don’t know step by step what the Lord is asking me after this season, I know I want to be a part of something bigger than I ever thought I could be a part of. Something I’ve realized over the past few months, is that the Lord has so much more. I could live a life that sounds good to me. A life I know would make me happy and I could choose to make my own path to follow. Or I could follow the Lords path for me. If I give Him the reins and allow Him to guide me, than maybe then I could actually do more than I thought possible. What if the Lord asks us to do something we feel unqualified for? What if it seems to much for us to handle? What if what He asks us to do requires sacrifice? Are we going to say no and continue with our own life or are we going to say ok Lord lead me? I have so often said no. No thats too hard, no I’m not qualified for that, no there’s better people for this, no I can’t sacrifice this. I was always afraid of making the wrong decisions. Afraid to sacrifice comfort. But why? The Lord wants the best for His children. He actually wants us to have life in abundance. That doesn’t mean we won’t have trials, that’s actually far from the truth. We will have trials but when we choose Him in the middle of it, we can trust He will be there through it and following it. I’m choosing the Father and to sacrifice the things I have held onto that’s kept me from what He wants to do. It’s going to be hard and sometimes I may want to say no but have to choose yes. I’ll choose yes because I want to be in a relationship with the Father. To be in connection with Him which will lead myself and others to a life of abundance. A life that gives instead of takes. I’m going to choose yes because building the Lords kingdom is far more important than living a life for myself. I choose to sacrifice things I love because I never want to love something more than the Father.
I am still $2,000 from being fully funded for CGA. Please prayerfully consider partnering with me financially. Every single donation, no matter how big or small, helps so much. If you are unable to help financially, I ask that you come alongside me in prayer to reach my final deadline of $5,950. You all are such a huge part of what the Lord is doing in and through my life. Thank you for your prayers, donations and partnership in this life of ministry the Lord has called me into. Please also feel free to reach out to me with any prayers you have that I could come alongside you in.
Love y’all,
Paxtyn 🙂
