Home.
What is home? When I left a year ago the only thing I knew of home was here in my hometown with my family and friends. I’ve never known anything different. My life happened right here and up until the race this is what I knew.
Going on the race was an adventure and at first that’s all it was. It was my adventure to go help people around the world while connecting with God. But as the adventure went on, I realized it was much more than that. Home wasn’t just this little town I grew up in or the house I’ve lived in my whole life. Home is where the Lord is. While I was away, 11 countries became home to me. There was 11 cultures that became home to me. And hundreds of people that became home to me. Home is where love is. My love is where the Lord is. The Lord loves all the nations and all the people. Therefore, home is wherever the Lord chooses to take me.
When I left for the World Race, I thought coming home would be easy. After all I have never been away from my family for this long. I knew I was going to miss them while I was away and I would be ready to come home after 11 months of being away. Which over all I did. There were points in my time away I was ready to quit and just come “home”. But God gave me the strength and I pushed through. And what a blessing it was that I did. However, I thought returning home would be easy. I thought that I would come home and start working at a salon and things would just go back to the normal life it was before I left. But, living a life dedicated to the Lord is not normal.
The last few months of the race I started to realize just how different it was actually going to be when I got home. The people that have surrounded me for these 11 months weren’t going to be there anymore. The Jesus conversations held on a daily or hourly basis wasn’t going to be there. Conversations about what the Lord told me may not make sense to everyone around me anymore. Doing ministry everyday with a group of people who truly love the Lord probably wouldn’t be a thing. A lot of things changed and had shaped me while I was gone. And as much as I wanted to believe that coming home to America would be ‘easy’, it wasn’t.
Coming home was exciting and towards the end of the race I became ‘ready’. I was ready to be home, ready to see my family and friends and ready to see what the Lord had next. Seeing my family when I arrived home was wonderful and it brought me to tears. Walking into the house was weird but good. Right away I noticed little changes that normally wouldn’t seem like a big deal but now they were. Sleeping in my own bed in my own room was nice but odd. The last 11 months I was always sharing a room with someone if not 5 other people. When I woke up the day after arriving home, I felt so out of it. I knew the last 11 months had happened and they were so real. But, being home in a way made it feel like a dream. I’ve been home for 2 months now and to be honest its just now feeling normal again.
Since I’ve been home I have been laboring for my dad who is a brick and stone mason. It’s hard work and some days my body doesn’t like me for it. But, its one of my favorite jobs. Working with him has given me time to share with him about my trip and how I’ve grown. It has also helped me see his heart and see how he has grown this past year. Every morning on the way to work I share with him the verse of the day on my bible app. And he has started to notice and ask what it is if I don’t share it with him right away. So, that has been a great bonding area for my dad and I.
Our Pastor at church gave me the opportunity to lead bible study one night. At first I wasn’t sure about it. I’m not exactly someone who likes to get up in front of people. As I began to study and prepare for bible study, I became more excited about doing it. When it came time to lead the study, again nervous and just praying the Lord would take over and give me the words to say. Well, that’s exactly what He did. There were many points that came up I had not went over and there were others I did. The Lord used my experience on the race and what I learned as well as my testimonies to lead the study. It was such a great experience and I’m blessed to have had the opportunity. The Lord not only used me to lead but through it He gave me the confidence in Him and the guidance to follow through with it. His love and guidance is truly incredible. When you trust in Him all your worries seem to fade and your able to conquer your fears because of His strength He freely gives you.
I have also become part of our worship team at church. Worship has always been one of my biggest passions. What can I say, I love to sing, I love to dance and I love to lift my hands in bringing all praise to Him. For He is worth ALL praises and ALL glory. What a good good father we have. While on the race He showed me my voice in many ways. One of those is the voice He gave me to sing loud and confident in what He blessed me with. Now, I’m not saying I’m the greatest singer by any means. What I am saying is I’m passionate about it. The Lord placed worship on my heart and no matter where I am, I will always bring worship to His name. Whether that is in a church singing backup, leading or simply worshiping in the comfort of my home or on the job site. I will always bring praise to His name because He deserves it all.
Now these are some of the wonderful things that have happened since I’ve been home. But, don’t get me wrong it hasn’t all been sunshine and smiles. It has been hard. And I mean at times really hard. I had to adjust to living back at home with my parents and my sister. Not to mention how my family also has to adjust to me being back home. Conversations with people have been hard. I can’t really explain why, maybe because I can understand the language now (which in a weird way can be overwhelming at times) or maybe just because I wasn’t sure how to answer questions just yet. I’m not sure but I’m sure multiple people can say their first conversation with me after arriving home was a little awkward haha (sorry guys). Meeting up with friends and realizing how much things changed while I was gone. Not only with them but also within myself. Missing my world race family and the feeling of knowing they understand where I’m coming from when I start talking about the Lord as my friend. Transition has been hard but here I am, writing a blog to say through the ups and downs its in the Lords hands. Since I have been home He has continually been teaching me how to react to life in the states in a new and improved way. To hit my knees in prayer when things are tough, to reach out to other believers, to never give up and most importantly to Always look to the Him for guidance and strength. God has given me a new view on Him, on life and on myself. And for that ?I am grateful, I am changed and I am seeking to reach kingdom for His name. I will continue reaching out to the lost, the hurting and the broken people wherever He leads me. Because, no person is less than the other and God has called us all to love one another.
Life isn’t always going to be easy, but how will you react to it? We can give up which may seem easier, at the time. Or we can give our life to the Lord and let Him fight for us. Let me tell ya, I know which one I’m choosing. The Lord has given me strength in my troubled times, guidance in my times of need, healing when I’m hurting, love when I felt alone and home no matter where I am.
Now this is only part of my story since I’ve been home from the race and theres more to come. The Lord has placed some really awesome passions on my heart while I was on the World Race. And He is now providing me with opportunities to further that. My next blog will be about what my next plans are and how the Lord will be using those!
So where will I be going next you ask? Stay tuned for my next blog :).
I love you all and appreciate all of your support throughout the race and even now after. I want to continue to keep you updated for what’s to come because the Lord isn’t finished and it doesn’t end with the World Race.
Thank you for your prayers and support. Please let me know how I can be praying for you.
Lots of Love Paxtyn.
